Fear and Loathing in Reno NV

A few weeks ago, I told you how I had changed the way we eat here at our house.  In my effort to ‘get better’ was my determination to get fit again.  I say again, because I used to work out several times a week for a good 10 or so years.  Two years ago, I stopped working out for several reasons.  One of the most nagging reason was hurting all the time.  My joints never stopped hurting unless I was on vacation and not working out.  I had different trainers as well, so it wasn’t due to one person not knowing how to train me.  But mentally, I was done with the aches and pains of weekly workout.

During these two years off from specific workouts, I got my cardio and weight lifting watching the grandbabies.  Mr. Fae disputes how this can be seen as a workout.  The diaper changing table is upstairs.  The kids play downstairs.  There are moments, many, many moments during the day that they need to be carried upstairs to take care of things.  Then back down again for more playtime.  When two of them are in diapers, that’s a lot of up/down stairs I was doing.  Ok, so my heart rate didn’t get going that much, but let’s just call it weight lifting.

I found myself thinking of working out again, or maybe I should call it ‘getting fit’.   I really did not want to join a gym or get a trainer with schedules.  I wanted to be able to call the shots as to when I would work out and when I wouldn’t.  My body, my schedule.  And while I was thinking of exercising once more, I contemplated just how I would do that.  Pilates?  Lord no.  Yoga…yawn.  Hot yoga?  Disgusting.  P90X?  Not for me; too much testosterone.  Crossfit?  Um, no.  I would die.  I have too many back/neck/shoulder issues to take into consideration for that type of torture.  One thing did make me pause in my contemplations.  I could run.

But I hate running.  I LOATHE it. I hate jogging, sprinting, speed walking, trotting, anything where a casual stroll is not good enough.  Mr. Fae once ran a marathon.  He is my idol.  Do I want to run a marathon?  Hell, no.  I just want to be able to run a distance as yet to be determined without passing out after 30 seconds.

I started hunting for help and advice on beginner running.  I found a great site here that helps beginners achieve after 9 weeks, the ability to run for 30 minutes straight and/or run in a 5k race.  I counted on my fingers, because I’m a math whiz like that, and those nine weeks will end one week before I leave for Hawaii with all my female cousins.  Oh, yeah, baby.  I will be fit!  I will be buff!!

I will probably blow my knee out in two more weeks.

Tuesday was my very first day of my new training.  It started out with a lovely British girl telling me how proud she was of me because I’m taking this on.  Then she started playing music for me to briskly walk to.

“Hey, this isn’t too hard”

Then, that Person, made me run for 60 seconds.  60 SECONDS!  Ok, so that wasn’t so bad.  Another nice brisk walk for 90 seconds and then she made me run again!  This happened for the total 30 minutes I listened to the podcast.  In the end, I ran a combined total of 8 minutes.  Lordy, lordy….right now, I’m beat.

Here’s a few things that went through my head during this time period.

  1. I didn’t bring enough Kleenex.  Ew.
  2. Why didn’t I wear a sports bra?  What was I thinking?
  3. I’m not used to this altitude.
  4. I shouldn’t have done this on garbage day.
  5. Don’t lie down on people’s lawn gasping for breath because it will only result in them calling 911.
  6. Dressing in layers is a good idea.  Too bad I didn’t.
  7. I think I’ll run like Tom Cruise.

    Notice the hands? Yeah, that was me...

  8. People are wondering why I’m running like an idiot.
  9. I’m beginning to hate British accents.

I’m sure there were at least ten things I thought of but can’t remember them due to the weight my thighs have put on since the run this morning.

After the podcast ended I still wasn’t home and I was damn sure I was done running for the day.  I merely switched over to some Snow Patrol and strolled the rest of the way home.

And this is how they found me….




About Fae

Although I have other blogs I do for my grandchildren, I felt it wasn't enough to satisfy my inner author. I needed a grownup blog to share things on or rant about. Purely egocentric. Hope you like it.
This entry was posted in Challenges, Rants. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Fear and Loathing in Reno NV

  1. Felia says:

    OMG! You make me laugh. Especially picturing you running like Tom Cruise. That made me almost wet myself.

  2. Tiffany says:

    OMG, you are hysterical. Take it from someone who has been a runner in the past, it does get easier and you may eventually like it. More for the mental break than anything. You will be amazed at the problem solving that go on during that time! Hang in there.


  3. Mr. Fae says:

    Tiffany you are right–lots of problem solving goes on while you are out for a run–of course when you are first starting out the problem is, how to keep going!! How are you going to continue this without having someone call 911 because you are doing your best to find some oxygen–who the hell took all the oxygen ;-)) I am very happy that Mrs. Fae started this and I wish her luck in this new endeavor, I will be there with a water and wine when she is ready!!

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