Most of you know that I recently traveled to the island of Hawaii with my female cousins. This is the second ‘cousin’ trip we have taken. We were blessed with the fact that three of our Australian cousins joined us there. And once again, I felt mentally challenged trying to understand the Aussies accent and conversations. I’m sure that I said ‘What?’ or ‘Pardon me?’ more times than I can count. Or even go so far as to say, “What is that?” referring to some term they had used. Don’t even get me started if I talk to them over the phone; in person is hard enough!
I know that we sound horrifically slow talking to them. I’m thinking it’s how I feel when I listen to someone talk from the south. How y’all doin’? takes about 5 minutes to say based on how long they drag out the y’all. But they were very kind and gracious to us, repeating themselves over and over. Again, much like what I do to my two-year old grandchildren. And my cousins never once patted my head in congratulations when I figured out what they were saying.
We compared features we all share and told stories of our individual families. We brought each current with our lives and re-lived stories from our past. We cried over family losses and laughed at family antics. (Mostly of my older brother…but my attorney has warned me that if I post anymore about him, I will receive a cease and desist order. Or libel. Or something.)
But he makes it so easy! And his reply is always the same: Is nothing sacred to you? My answer is no, Doofus.
While we were sitting at the pool and gripping that there weren’t any pool boys to order around and bring us drinks, there was a man and woman lounging next to us. He got up and left and she started picking some flowers. The flowers were very pretty and we remarked on them. We all got to talking and she confided that her husband referred to all of us as the Ya-Ya’s, from the book/movie Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Funny yet horrifyingly uncomfortable. Did we make such an entrance or draw so much attention to ourselves with our laughter that people nicknamed us? Apparently so. Oh, here they come…the Ya-Yas. Hide your children! What makes it even funnier to us is that with our family name, it became the Yo-Yo’s instead.
We bumbled our way all over that island. We sunbathed on the beach at the Fairmont Orchid (we weren’t supposed to but they took pity on us). We drove over to Hilo for helicopter rides; we ate and drank to our heart’s content. In fact, eating only dessert for a meal was a common practice. My one cousin, Clio, made it her odyssey to try Key Lime Pie at several restaurants. That’s all…just pie.
Here’s a fine dining tip for you, as well. If you don’t want to drive up to the resorts on the Kohala coastline and stay in the Kona area, eat at Huggos and at the Kona Inn Restaurant (not grill). I used Yelp for both along with friend’s tips to try these places. If you go to Huggos, you MUST ask for Island Johnny’s service area. He is hysterical and you will leave laughing.
One cousin, who shall remain anonymous, told us the following joke and you must use your best Japanese accent when the wife speaks:
A newly married Japanese couple finally make it up to their bridal suite. The husband suggests that she undress him. She obliges and when she finally gets down to his shoes, she bends over and accidently passes wind. Recovering quickly she says,
“Front hole so happy to see you, back hole whistle with joy!”
I’m here all week, folks.