Yesterday I went to lunch at Wendy’s. I had a hamburger, medium fries and a medium diet soda. I ate almost 1000 calories in one sitting without even really thinking about it. Or being that full afterwards.
Today I had for lunch the following: an orange, 1/2 cup of strawberries, a Chobani yogurt, two veggie sausage patties, some crackers and cheese, and a diet Pepsi.
For half the calories.
As I write this, I am not so full I want to puke (which I have done before….gorging myself on Basque food) but I am not hungry, and this is about two hours later. Yesterday after this time, I was starving, wanted a snack, preferably chocolate, and sat around feeling sorry for myself because I ate almost the day’s calories in one setting.
We wonder why people in America are obese. I have been eating smaller portions at McDonald’s and Wendy’s and In and Out for years, thinking, if I just eat LESS, it will be all good. I’m not saying that it isn’t delicious, because it is, but it is certainly full of empty calories. I mean, ONE THOUSAND?! Why did I not know this before? That eating a burger and fries and, well, we can forget the soda, because it was diet, was worth practically my daily allotment in calories? Blech. Makes me sick thinking about it. Which isn’t to say I won’t eat a Quarter Pounder with cheese next week, because those things are delish! But I guess what I am saying is that I have never counted a calorie in my life before, so I didn’t know how bad it really was. I mean, I only exert x amount of calories, but I am taking in x+y+z amount of calories, without even knowing it. Pisses me off.
People have been telling me I need to eat more calorie-light foods, and then that way my body will be fuller for longer. I always scoffed, and thought, “There is no way I can survive on broccoli with olive oil spritzed on it. I will die. DIE!” Because I will be hungry. And that is MY Diet Demon: Hunger.
If any of you have seen me when I am hungry, it is not a pleasant sight. Once, on vacation with my sister and her new husband, we were looking for a place to eat. We were in the shopping district of Bilbao, Spain, and I was hungry, and getting hungrier by the second. It was siesta time, so nothing was open: no shops, no bars, nothing. And there wasn’t a soul in sight. After hearing me complain about how hungry I was for about an hour, Mr. Sister said, “Well, you are just going to have to wait until something opens up.” And I screamed, “I AM SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT MY RIGHT ARM!!! And I’ll have you know, I AM RIGHT HANDED!”
For some reason, he has been very conscious of my hunger pains ever since.
The moral of this story: never let me get hungry. Or too full for that matter. Neither one is very pleasant.