I can do MAGIC! (or in our house, Homemade Mayonnaise)

Oh happy days are here again!!  Have you ever seen David Copperfield perform?  Pretty awesome guy, right?  And not hard to look at either, I might add.  I didn’t do his kind of magic but the results of what I did was right up there with ‘spectacular’ in my book.  This because I failed so miserably at it 5 prior times!

What did I fail at?  Epically fail at?  Well.  Sit down and get comfortable.  If you’ve noticed things here at Idiosyncrazies lately, we’ve been doing things from scratch; from bread baking, to laundry detergent making to abandoning dryers for clotheslines.  We are getting back to basics, people.  Basics.  Moving forward by going backwards in time when things were simpler and easier.  Well, maybe not simpler but better for our minds and spirits.  We came, we saw, and we conquered.  We are becoming as useful and handy around our homes as our grandmothers were.  So with this determined spirit in mind, I went to tackle something that I thought would be a snap.  A child could do this; in fact, in seventh grade I made this in my Home Ec Class…Hi, Mrs. Anderson!

What am I blithering about?  Home made mayonnaise.  Now, either you’re a Best Food fan or a…..::gag:: Miracle Whip fan and all those other brands of sandwich spread should just fold up their tents and slink away in the night.  But in my zealousness of taking on a task that should have been incredibly easy, my pride got in the way.

“Of course, I’ve made this before.  It’s simple.  I’ll just do it again.  Easy peasy.”

That next sound you hear is God laughing.  At me.

Five times I tried and five times I failed.  I had to throw cup after cup of oil out; eggs by the dozen ended up in the disposal.  I pretty much gave up on it, pissy at myself and at every jar of Best Food I ended up purchasing afterwards.

“I really did make this before…” I’d grumble to myself.  Hell, my daughter made it and it turned out great!  What was I doing wrong?  Everytime I’d read a recipe that included ‘homemade mayonnaise’ I just wanted to scream.

Prior to our last vacation, I ended up buying a 30 ounce jar of mayo.  Normally, I don’t use mayo very much but when I’m faced with big entertaining functions (family reunions, holidays) casseroles always make an appearance.  And with most casseroles, mayo comes into play.  So now I have this huge jar of mayo and I read the ingredients.  Oh yuck.  I immediately went to my best friend, Google, and researched the heck out of making mayonnaise.  Lo and behold, it was on a paleo blog that referenced Two Minute Mayonnaise.

Ah, wait.  What?  Two minute mayonnaise?  I’m in.

In my prior attempts, I’ve used my food processor.  I’ve used my blender.  I’ve used my Vita Mix with disastrous results.  Did the motor get to hot?  Did it run too long?  Weren’t the ingredients warm enough when I started?  Question after question I asked myself.  Finally, getting deeper into that blog and being hyperlinked elsewhere, I came to end of the line.  And with that, I saw magic.  They used an immersion blender.  Brilliant.

I waited patiently for my next batch of ingredients to come to room temperature.  Once there (and Mr. Fae shaking his head and rolling his eyes at me AGAIN), I grabbed a Mason jar, thinking, naturally, this is a great container.

Water, egg, vinegar, and lemon coming up to room temp.


Oily, eggy yellow oil substance.  Not even thick like mayo.  I just about exploded.  I went back to that blog ready to write a scathing comment on photoshopping pictures and lying to people about making mayonnaise when I came across many comments about the type of container being used.

Uh?  That matters?

Apparently it does.  Something sciency and vortexy.  Anyhoo, I set out yet another batch of ingredients (my sixth attempt, but who’s counting) and used what was recommended:  a Pyrex measuring cup.  Two cup measuring cup, if you please.  I am nothing if not tenacious.

Et, voila!

I did the happy dance around the kitchen, sticking my finger into to make sure that it tasted like mayo (it did) because it sure looked like mayo.  I ran outside to show Mr. Fae the results and make him taste it as well (he did).

Now, when I need a small amount of mayo, I don’t have to run  to the store to buy a stupid little jar of the stuff that will go bad before I use it all.  Now, I can make it in one cup increments…..

Want some homemade ranch dressing using my homemade mayonnaise?  Coming right up.  Want some homemade green goddess dressing for that salad?  Coming right up.  Want some Creamy Roasted Garlic dressing?  Coming right up!

You see, it has opened a few more doors for my getting down to basics interest.  I encourage you to try it and giggle along with me when you see it happen….

Homemade Mayonnaise

1 egg yolk, room temperature

1 cup Bertollis Extra light Olive oil (anything else will taste really olivey)

1 T apple cider vinegar, room temp

1/2 T lemon juice, room temp

1 T water, room temp

1 t Dijon mustard, room temp

Sea salt for taste

Place all ingredients except the salt into a 2 cup Pyrex measuring cup letting it set for about one minute. This lets the oil come to rest on top of the other ingredients which is what you want.  Place your immersion blender in on the bottom of the cup and switch it on.  As the mayo forms, slowly tilt and lift the head of the blender until all oil has become emulsified.  Season to taste with the salt.

Store for up to two weeks.  This makes one cup of mayo.




About Fae

Although I have other blogs I do for my grandchildren, I felt it wasn't enough to satisfy my inner author. I needed a grownup blog to share things on or rant about. Purely egocentric. Hope you like it.
This entry was posted in Cooking, Paleo approved and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I can do MAGIC! (or in our house, Homemade Mayonnaise)

  1. Farie says:

    This made me laugh out loud, because I never having made homemade mayonnaise before, did it frequently when I worked for Mr. Roberts years ago, and I always was amazed that I could create that! I used to make two types, a roasted garlic mayonnaise and a cajun mayonnaise. I would give my eye-teeth for that recipe. It was a Paul Prudhomme recipe. Good job! Paleo, too! I will have to add this to my “basics.”

  2. Mr. Fae says:

    As God is my witness–it really did happen!! Her dancing around in the kitchen that is and yes so successful at making mayonnaise she is.

  3. Vicki says:

    Is that “T” for tablespoon or teaspoon?

  4. Fae says:

    Capital T stands for tablespoon while lower case t stands for teaspoon. Hope this helps?

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