I have to share how neurotic I am.
I am reading Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess, who in case you don’t know is brilliant, funny, and talented.
During one of her stories, she mentions that Victor, her husband was doing whip-its in the living room without her, and how mad she was. She goes on to explain, in her funny way, how he was actually just dusting, and it was the furniture polish she heard being sprayed, and it was in fact, not whipped cream being sprayed into his mouth.
And I thought: Oh. My. God. All this time, I have been using the term whip-its wrong. All through college, I teased stupid people about doing too many whip-its and it was damaging their brain cells. And all this time, they were thinking, “Huh? She is the stupid one. No one dies from doing whip-its! They get happy! Toddlers can do this, man! This chick has totally lost her mind.”
Then I thought, there was that one time in that one coffee shop that I was flirting with that one barista who I totally had a crush on, and I specifically remember making a comment about whip-its, and he stared at me. At the time I thought that he stared at me because I was beautiful, funny, and smart, all of which he had just noticed in that exact moment, but no! Now I realize that he was just staring at me because I am a total idiot.
I continue to read the chapter, all the while obsessing about how big of an idiot I am, and how I am so glad that I am not friends with any of those people on Facebook now, because I just feel like such a dork. I finished reading the chapter, and there was a footnote.
“After I read this chapter to my editor, she pointed out that I’ve been using the phrase whip-its incorrectly for my entire life, as it really refers to getting high on nitrous oxide and can totally kill you.”
I am serious. And the relief! Oh thank God, SHE is the one that has been making as ass out of herself! And then I thought, I just have to share this with you all. Because neuroses is neuroses, and we all have them.